Abruptly moonstrangled,
Made pale.
Ghost faced, spectral,
Bloodless, frail.

The H-Dropping Grocer

An H-dropping grocer mislaid his pantry keys.

“Oh bloody ’ell,” cried he, “I can’t get to the cheese!”

The H-dropping grocer said, “I ’aven’t got the means

to sell you gorgonzola but I can do runner beans.”

When people ordered cheddar he offered garden peas.

But the dairy-demanding dastards were difficult to please.

Those fromage-fancying fuckers

Turned their noses up at greens.

The poor H-dropping grocer said, “I can’t unlock the larder,

and the fact it’s National Cheese Day makes everything much ’arder.

I can offer you tinned carrots and a pack of Garibaldis.

Failing that, you might get Baby Bels on offer down at Aldi’s.”

The H-dropping grocer said, “I’ve ’ad quite enough of this.

It’s National sodding Cheese Day, an opportunity not to miss.

My public won’t be ’appy with apples ‘n’ ’alf price oranges.

I’ll ’ave to break into the store by ’acking through the door ’inges.”

Simeon Pook

Simeon Pook is a spook.

A simple pumpkin spook.

He dresses like a duke.

So people call him a kook.

A pumpkin is Simeon’s haunt,

A jack lantern with nose, mouth and eyes.

His own face is withered and gaunt.

There are seeds in his tears when he cries.

A spook is a type of ghost.

The type you’re afraid of the most.

At parties spooks frighten the host.

When old they retire to the coast.

Simeon Pook is quite lonely.

He doesn’t get out very much.

Really it’s Halloween only,

And he never makes friends, as such.

Spooks are mischievous things.

They hide money and keys and rings.

They scream when anyone sings.

And they’re jealous of creatures with wings.

If Simeon Pook tries to scare you,

Be calm and stay perfectly still.

Shout, “What are you doing, how dare you?”

Never act scared, that gives him a thrill.

Spooks are a bit like ghouls,

They’re naughty and like to break rules.

They learn to be spooks in spook schools.

Spooks think ‘people’ are out-and-out fools.

If Simeon Pook comes to your house,

Offer him something to eat.

Spooks are allergic to sugar.

So make sure it’s something quite sweet!

Spooks like to hide behind doors,

And leave footprints on freshly washed floors.

They’ll tip all the things out of drawers.

It’s annoying when those things are yours!

If Simeon Pook says, “Boo!”

Don’t panic and don’t try to run.

Simply say, “Boo to you too!”

Don’t be scared, scare him, it’s more fun.

Spooks can appear in your dreams,

They love hearing nightmarish screams.

So make sure you dream of ice creams,

And other unspooky nice themes.

If Simeon Pook wants to haunt you,

He’ll sit on the end of your bed.

But don’t let this night haunting daunt you.

Sleep under the bed instead.

Simeon Pook is a spook.

A simple pumpkin spook.

He dresses like a duke.

So people call him a kook.

When Simeon Pook comes to call,

You needn’t be scared nor worry.

He’s really incredibly small.

You are bigger; he’ll leave in a hurry.

Stranger on Strange Street

You are a stranger walking a strange street,

With head held high and eyes fixed straight ahead.

Hope brought you here, now fear must drive your feet,

To every passing stranger that you meet,

Who nods a silent greeting, words unsaid,

You are a stranger walking a strange street,

No face you see is one you wish to greet.

All smiles are smiles so easily misread.

Hope brought you here, now fear must drive your feet.

The silent speak with eyes that speak deceit.

And warn you to be mindful where you tread.

You are a stranger walking a strange street.

And through a downpour bitter and unsweet.

You taint the rain with every tear you shed.

Hope brought you here, now fear must drive your feet.

Your tears as you turn icy turn to sleet.

And in you waken new cold stabs of dread.

You are a stranger walking a strange street.

Hope brought you here, now fear must drive your feet.

(I think this is a villanelle... if it isn't, tell me!)

1st attempt triolet

Counting in Spanish

This is how my granddaughter, Carmen, counts in Spanish:

Unos 

Doos

Dwes

Wat Woot

Sletsy

Ocho

Seetcy

Dawencey 

She is a wat woot-year-old, in case you were wondering.


And here she is...

Halloween Carmen - My granddaughter doesn't always look like this!